I’m a computer professional who detests having to call customer service; I’d much rather fix it myself. But on occasion, I need a warranty replacement, or the internet is just “down down”, and I have no choice but to speak to the company. I groan just thinking about waiting on hold, just to talk to someone who (humorously) doesn’t want to talk to me either. I do have one trick up my sleeve. A magic phrase: “I’m an onsite technician.”
I’ve had a lot of success bypassing much of the customer-service-rigmarole by simply introducing myself as a third-party technician, as if I’m calling in on behalf of a “client”, even if that “client” is myself. This quickly changes the social dynamic of the conversation, and the psychology of it cures most of the what I dislike about calling companies. Pretending to be a third-party technician is the way to go.
Here are some of the advantages to pretending to be a third-party technician:
- The representative immediately responds by treating you like one of the team. After all, you’re both working in the same field. You’re not just another moronic customer calling in (aka: the enemy).
- Similarly, the representative drops their defenses, and the call is less tense. Phone representatives take heat randomly from angry customers. There’s no chance you will be an outraged customer when they think you are a third-party, because you aren’t personally invested in the issue. In fact, you’re probably making money right now as far as they know. Reaffirm this assumption by smiling with your voice and being polite.
- This makes bad news forthright. Typically, as the social individuals we humans are, we can hear an audible “bracing for impact” in someone’s voice when they have to deliver bad news. They might tell you the warranty has expired, or that the internet outage you are experiencing is the fault of their own company or equipment. Again, when pretending to be a third-party, it is easier for the representative to break the bad news.
- It is easier to negotiate for your “client” than it is to negotiate for yourself. People are so used to standing their ground and saying “No” that they’ll do it even when they could say “Yes.” By pretending to be a polite third-party to the rep, you paint a picture that the client (who they think they haven’t met) is a generous individual who hires good people. When you say, “Is there anything you can do?”, the rep sympathizes with you as an extension of themselves. They don’t want you to have to deliver bad news to the “client” either. They will go that extra mile for you.
- You might get escalated to upper-tier support right away. Some companies force you through first-level support, where they ask first-level questions like “Did you unplug the router for 60 seconds?” When you’re a professional who helpfully describes that they’ve brought their “service laptop” and has already logged into the status page of the modem and the router, then you will be off to upper-tier support in no time.
- They trust your diagnosis. For example, you might even get a replacement part shipped simply by knowing the address and the account name, and a very brief description of the issue. Try something like this: “Hi. I’m an onsite technician calling to get a replacement hard drive for my client. He has a drive with bad sectors, generating an error code on boot.” This is very effective at getting what you want quickly.
- You get more legitimate answers when you start questions with “My client may want to know…”. The rep realizes you aren’t going to get off the phone until you get a satisfactory answer, because the client is going to want a satisfactory answer too.
This advice comes from personal experience. I hope you find it useful. 🙂