My Deus Ex Implant

If I could have a real life cybernetic implant, the first one I’d get would disable Sticky Keys on any PC I come in contact with.

New Cal-ifornia Law

So apparently there is a new law on the books requiring California restaurant chains to post calories on all of their menu boards. In my usual tone, here is what I had to say about it. It’s a slippery slope. Next they’ll be requiring resident dietitians to be preset at every McDonalds.  And just look what they did ...

Completely justifies my purchase

  See? Ages 12+ and up.

Greetings, friend.

Greetings, friend. You are attempting to reach Justin; However, he is out of the office until August 19th and has left me, a lowly robot, in his place to perform his duties. Unfortunately, I am merely version 1.0 and I am only capable of responding with this auto-generated message informing you of both Justin’s leave ...

Forecast For Tonight

Either Los Angeles is burning or the tobacco companies have gotten more aggressive with their advertising.

Congratulations

Congratulations! Your credit score has exceeded 720. The Individual Fertility Suppression Field™ by TransUnion® has been deactivated. You may now contribute your genes to the Utopian dreamworld to which we have all become accustomed.

The Enclosed Nickel 4

There are many ways to measure success. One of them being: The number of nickels you receive from charities. Recently, a charity mailed me a whole nickel. This raises the amount of money I’ve received from charities over the years by infinity percent.  You too can be a success story just like me. Just follow ...

A Graph-ic Beginning 3

I’ve given a lot of thought about writing, and why someone would want to make a blog. I’m not sure where to begin so will instead share with you my most recent thoughts — completely uncensored. I wonder if I should write a blog? What makes a good writer? Is writing ability proportional to social ...